give me good answers...

so here i am. still trying to find answers. do i have to dig graves to find someone loyal or someone who's worth my time? this may sound cocky, but i'm the best boyfriend in the world, and i'm fucking proud that i'm aware of such thing. i'm loyal to the bones!! i fall hard that i allow myself to be dumb at times. if i love i love with everything that makes me and that there are times that i get stupid and shit. we must learn from those fucking players. times when pain is too much to handle that i want revenge or i want to be numb that i try to be a bad person but i just can't 'coz i respect woman. why?? maybe because i have 3 gurl siblings and because i love my mom so much coz`she's so strong that i don't want to make the same mistakes as of my freakin father who was freaking weak that he almost destroyed my sanity. my mother taught me alot of things. i can say that there are times that she really made a shit on my life but then she gave me strength 'coz when that time when our family was on the verge of breaking up she faced it and she forgave my father. my father is not the best father in the world but when he chose to fight and stayed with our family he gained my respect. he even gave me an advice that i can't forget but i know i will not take that fucking advice 'coz i know i'm way much smarter than he is!! fuck im being cocky again. he told me "ang lalake magpaka lalake!" - it's one way of telling me that males are bound to make mistakes. coz we are a fucking slave with lust. and i don't believe him. in my mind i said to myself that "i don't want to be like you". i want to be with one person. i want to give it all even if it hurts. call me a fucking romantic and shit but i really believe in fairytales- that we all end up with the right person if we choose to- but fuck! it's not fairytales heheheheh nowadays it's really hard to find someone loyal. hmmm... forgive me on this; but i know somewhere somehow somebody's going to appreciate me. im being positive!! it's my freakin downfall hahahaha tell me i'm wrong. i believe that somebody out there is as loyal as i am and i being an idealist! bad thing. i have to be realistic...help me help myself. hahaha no, don't! i can walk all by myself heheheh

LEARN!!!

im in pain.
it's really funny how pain makes us aware of alot of things that we don't even bother to look at when we're happy with our own little world. pain makes us appreciate the good things in this life, the minute things that we don't even bother to look at 'coz we're to pre-occupied with our "own vanity" that we get too insensitive at the little things that we're supposed to value. we are too absorbed with our own shit that we think that we're such a victim when somebody else out there is loosing some limbs and somebody out there is positive enough to think about life despite the cancer that's eating them insid out-physically and emotionally. so here's my point. pain brings out the best in us. best in the sense that we get to see reality first-hand and we try to fight it immaturely at times but then we learn from it(hopefully!!) whether we like it or not. we must know that whether what pain that we are going through it's really up to us if we move on, or not. of course we know what's the best choice, but then again the best choices is always the hardest thing to do. it's always easy to be easy! hahah fuck this line but it's true. it's always easy not to face things, not to face reality. 'coz it's always easy to be HAPPY...temporarily. now if you get me, it's really up to us if we choose temporary bliss or a lifetime of happiness. if we choose the hard part we get all the reward(s) in the end and that's far more greater than the temporary happiness that we get with those people who don't appreciate us. so think, but not too much. just learn from our mistakes and try to be the best of who we are with those people who appreciate's the litul things that we do. carpe diem!! =)
godspeed to us all.

SIP.POINT.SMILE =)

i like it when you're quiet with your coffee.SIP.the taste of friendship on our lips.
i like it when you show me how things work.POINT.the world so tangled and abused.
i like it when you like what i like.SMILE.the world is ours for tonight.